Homophobic Ice Skating?

JOHNNY WEIR GOT ROBBED!!!

He skated way better than Daisuke, Patrick Chan, Stephane Lambiel and even Plushenko. Only Lysacek looked better and it makes sense since he just won the gold. The only reason I can think of is that the judges are super homophobic, since Weir is gay as rain. What the fuck sport do they think are judging? It's figure skating, not bear wrestling. Plushenko is so fucking ugly it hurts my face to look at his face. Plushenko was humping the air and doing fake pussy eating (It was probably butthole eating, since it is figure skating afterall). He looked like the Napoleon Dynamite kid in that ice skating movie, utterly ridiculous!

Olympic judging needs to be more transparent, cause its complete Bullshit.

USA!! USA!!

Fuck you Plushenko! You're a fucking shitty loser, shake a guys hand after he fucking dominates you even with all your bullshit shit talk. I want to step on your balls.

And to all the Elvis Stojkos out there, A QUAD DOES NOT AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL MAKE.

Five Dollar Foot Longs

I was watching TV and saw Subway's advertisement now offering any sandwich for $5. Their marketing directors should get a bonus because that commercial worked. I put on pants and went outside for the first time in three days. When I arrived at subway I felt my heart sink as I opened the door and saw the snaking line. I immediately got in line, but I was still debating whether I would stay (I wasn't about to stand in the doorway like an idiot trying to decide if it was worth the wait). On the one hand I could be eating the most expensive sandwich Subway has to offer at the mere price of five dollars or I could go home and order take out and not stand in line. The incredible value of the sandwich won me over and I decided that waiting 30 minutes for a $5 sandwich was worth it; however, at the time I didn't know it was going to be 30 minutes. Immediately after I made my decision to stay I looked ahead of me and almost changed my mind, but I already put pants on today.

In front of me in line was a girl who looked like a Mangalore from The Fifth Element (I'd attempt to describe it but French designer Jean-Paul Gaultier does a much better job with his costume design than I could ever do with words). She did have a distinguishing feature that set her apart from the aliens in the movie and it was that she had a patch of hair growing on her neck where her Adam's apple would be if she had one. I was so captivated by this girl that it took me awhile to realize I was in fact standing behind an entire group of mentally handicapped people. At this point I felt like an asshole for thinking this retarded girl looked like an alien from a movie, but she did.

A little bit about my own irrational fears. I'm afraid of retarded people. I'm afraid of homeless people, retarded or crazy (all mentally hilarious) people and poor urban teenagers (Corner Kids). The common thread between these groups is that they are unpredictable and irrational, they don't have the same sort of fear of repercussion that I believe other people have. I know it's ridiculous, but that's why I call them my irrational fears. There was also a point in my life where I was afraid of public restrooms, and it was before the whole Larry Craig incident. I'm simply trying to demonstrate that I am aware of my fears and even the ones that are ridiculous. I once knew a girl who couldn't stand listening to people go to the bathroom and feared that someone would hear her pee so she would run the sink every time she used the bathroom. You would think that this would make it impossible for her to go in public bathrooms, but strangely enough this wasn't a problem because the anonymity of the public bathroom made her comfortable.

So I was awkwardly waiting behind this group of people because I was both embarrassed and ashamed. I was embarrassed that I was afraid of these people and ashamed that they knew it. I wanted to stop staring so I decided to focus on the sandwich making.

However, watching Subway workers make assembly line sandwiches during lunch time rush hour is gross. They line up the bread and put meat and cheese on it and then slide it down the counter. The problem occurs when you want to order a condiment in the back row of trays furthest away from the employee and the result is caused by both the design of the Subway condiments counter and the Subway uniform. Subway employees just wear t-shirts tucked into pants and the shirt will often be baggy so there is a lot of extra material hanging when they bend over to grab a condiment. When there is a perfect storm of condiment ordering and shirt bagginess, then as the Sandwich Artist bends over to grab your olives his shirt will dip right into the mayo and mustard he just squirted onto your sandwich. I had to avoid any condiment that would require the employee to bend over for risk that someone else's mayo might be transferred to my sandwich from his t-shirt. I was pissed that I would only get to enjoy half of what Subway had to offer. I watched as the employee's shirt would fall right on top of each sandwich as he grabbed peppers and then pull up a little bit of mayo each time. The lady at the front of the line, she appeared to be the chaperon of the retarded kids, yelled something towards someone behind me. I wouldn't have even noticed because I was so enthralled by the shirt/sandwich relationship and baffled that no one else said anything even though it was obvious that we were all seeing it, but someone shoved me out of the way much harder than I had been shoved in a long time. It wasn't someone try to squeeze by me or move me over a little bit that I experience daily on subways and at bars, but this was a forceful shove like the person was trying to save a baby and needed to get past me. I was completely off guard and almost started laughing when I saw the little Mangalore girl running past me after almost knocking me over, she was at most 15 years old.

This made me think about the expression “Retard Strength.” And it also supports my fear of retards. Retarded people don't understand the force necessary to move past someone. Normal people understand that when you want to get past someone in a small space that it is a compromise and both people have to move a little. This retarded girl doesn't understand that principle so she just saw me as an object blocking the lady calling her and she needed to move that object(me) out of her way. She didn't gauge how much strength she needed to move, but just shoved me with everything she had. Because of this lack of control or understanding the need for discretion, such as strength required to move someone out of the way, I'm afraid of retarded people.

The sandwich sucked and I may or may not ever eat at Subway again.

I hope all the terrible things in life happen to you and nobody but you...

Patricia White.

You stupid bitch. You gave me an F in tax because you're a cunt. Now I got accepted to the LLM program under the Tax Graduate Program so you can eat two bags of dicks.

A little background on this terrible person. She came to my school for 1 years as a visiting professor and decided to give me an F in a fucking pass/fail course. Now she's the Dean of Miami Law school and she cancelled their incoming 1L class (Class of 2012) because she said it was in their best interest due to the job market. Shouldn't she let those incoming students decide what is in their best interest? Thanks mom.

Basically I transferred into her class, she had no syllabus and knocked me down 20% off my final grade because I didn't turn in two "homework" assignments that I was unaware were worth credit since she didn't have a fucking syllabus. Am I in fucking fourth grade? Homework assignments in law school? The stupid bitch had the audacity to tell me that she could have given me a D, she supposes, but that would have also been a failing grade for a pass/fail class. THATS NOT YOUR FUCKING DECISION, GIVE ME THE FUCKING GRADE I EARNED. If I had received a D instead of an F, I would have gotten credit for the class and I wouldn't be taking a billion credits this year and killing myself.

Her justifications for knocking me off points on the test was that I used tax principles, though correct, that she did not go over in class. Obviously bitch, I was taking the class pass/fail. I'm not going to waste my time on a pass/fail class, thats the purpose of pass/fail. So I read the Tax Examples & Explanations, thats what people do in pass/fail classes(And what I do for all of my classes). That's right, my answers were correct, but I used principles she didn't discuss in class and that gave me a failing grade? In what fucking world do you fail because you got the right answers?

In short, I hope you choke on your Ensure you stupid bitch

Sorry but Fat Chicks will never be the "New Hollywood"

I know a lot of people have taken issue with the fact that Vanity Fair published their "New Hollywood" and it should have been titled "The Whitest Women in America," but nonetheless the Precious girl, Gabourey Sidibe, should not have been included. I've read a lot of people complaining about the lack of color(They couldn't even find a tan white girl?), but they pretty much lose all credibility when they suggest Sidibe. One of these things is not like the others(Hint: Its not skin color). There are plenty of other minority actresses that have much more successful careers and way more star power, not to mention they aren't obese. Zoe Saldana from Avatar, Star Trek, Crossroads (That's right, I saw the Britney Spears movie). Two of which were the biggest movies of 2009. Frieda Pinto is another amazing minority actress that could have been included. She is the beautiful girl from Oscar winning Slumdog Millionaire. Both of these actresses are in the works for other roles as well (Woody Allen movie for my girl Frieda), what the fuck is Sidibe doing? Weight loss commercials?

While I haven't seen the movie Precious and cannot comment on Ms. Sidibe's acting ability, she doesn't have the "look" that we want to see in Hollywood. She's disgustingly fat. What other role is she going to get? Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, remake? The role she played in Precious was very particular and probably not transferable to other movies. How many movies are they going to make involving a fat girl being abused? While I'm sure her performance in Precious was amazing and she will probably win an Oscar, she just will not fit the mold of old or new Hollywood. Until we have shows like "The Biggest Gainer" and Beyonce puts on 300 pounds, Sidibe will always be left out.

On another hilarious fat note, it is now reported that Kevin Smith was NOT FAT ENOUGH and that was why he was kicked off the Southwest flight. Apparently an even fatter guy (Gabourey Sidibe?) had purchased 2 tickets for the flight and they needed to make room for him and Smith just happened to be flying standby so he got the boot. Apparently he issued a challenge to Southwest to bring a seat to the Daily Show and he will sit in the chair and buckle up and if he doesn't fit he will donate 10k to charity. I nominate the Human Fund as his charity of choice.

Ivy League afraid of Yellow Peril

I just read an extremely interesting article that talks about the "Asian Ceiling" at many elite American institutions. Very interesting, and slightly infuriating, since I didn't get into Harvard out of high school. I'm unwilling to accept that I was unqualified, but rather because I was Asian. I dare you to prove me wrong.

Until I get a minimum of 5% Asian airtime and a 20% cap on African-American exposure in the media, I find this "Asian Ceiling" in higher education completely absurd.

Here is the article:

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2010/02/08/do_colleges_redline_asian_americans/

Black and White Idol?

I've been watching American Idol since season 3 and one of the biggest controversies is that the contestants who they don't show much on the pre-top 24 group generally don't fare as well because they haven't developed the following that other contestants have who have had more exposure throughout the auditions and Hollywood week.

This was the first year that American idol sent an Asian guy through to the top 24, but of course there was almost no coverage of John Park throughout the entire show, except for his audition where he made Shania Twain wet.

They have had Asian female contestants in the past, most notably Jasmine Trias, but of course that happens because white guys love to exoticize Asian women - NO WGWAGS!!!!! Just like every year, American Idol this year again had nothing but white and black people with the exception of John Park and a few brown guys. Apparently America is only black and white people with the rest of the minorities marginalized by our media, at least there is the George Lopez show now (Who is terribly unfunny).

While I have to give John Park love, he's not my favorite. My favorite just so happens to be one of the brown guys, Andrew Garcia. Also got to give much love to Andrew because his baby mama is Asian and if you look him up on youtube he rolls with mostly AZNS. Thus, I will commend American Idol for giving him great coverage since I'm giving him honorary AZN status(Yes, I have this authority). Below is his audition, which I think is better than the original, and you can look up his version of Straight Up, which was also amazing.

Defeat the Racism

If any of you watched the Super Bowl I'm sure you saw the commercials about America's debt. If not you can find it on youtube here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRY5waZ4IbE

In this racist ass commercial they basically vilify China as this evil foreign entity that controls the US government through treasury bills. Well fuck you rednecks cause Japan is AGAIN (China only recent overtook Japan) the largest US T-bills holder so your stupid fucking racist ass commercials are now untrue.

Here is a link if you want to read more about it:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/16/AR2010021601801.html

Basically we need these foreign investments and it is a problem for the government when evil foreign countries like China sell off their T-Bill holdings.

Fuck you Tea Baggers